we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
