Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
