PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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