I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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