There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Do vagina's smell?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
