Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize