Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
