There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
