He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
