Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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