Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
