I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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