Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize