The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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