He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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