whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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