So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
its liver damage thursday
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
