I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
