I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
