This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So vagazzling was a success
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
