ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
