Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I don't think brook has ever known best
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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