Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
