I think im going to throw up on grandma
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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