He asked me if I "almost moaned"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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