Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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