Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
