I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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