Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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