i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
