I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
