Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
