I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
