i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
