How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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