i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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