she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
