I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
