The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Me too!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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