no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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