You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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