We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
