He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
