he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
