My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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