i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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