Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
