she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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