Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
