I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I need water and some morals
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
