Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
