it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
