i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
