We got so high we made milksteak
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
