Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
